How to Discuss Your Mental Health With Your Parents
Between virtual classes, missing friends, and canceled events you’ve been looking forward to for months — this year has probably brought up some new and uncomfortable feelings while being stuck at home. And what’s more uncomfortable than all of that combined? Talking to your parents about it. Whether your dad is your best friend, your mom is like your sister, or your relationship with your parents is rocky to say the least — a conversation with your parents about mental health can be a bit...awkward. If you’ve been feeling sad, anxious, or just not yourself, it can be overwhelming to handle alone. So, a sit-down discussion about what you need may be the next step.
First things first, know that you are not alone and your feelings are completely valid. Mental health should be a normal topic in every household and is nothing to be ashamed of. Just like playing a sport helps with our physical health, talking helps with our mental. It’s a part of us and has a major impact on how we get through the day. To help you take the leap, here are a few ways to get the conversation started about your mental health at home.
Preparation is Key
In order to help with the anxiety of bringing up the topic or forgetting your train of thought, it helps to prepare what you’re going to say. What exactly do you want to talk about? Can you describe your feelings yet? What’s not working for you? What are you asking of your parents? Pinpointing this will help guide the conversation so that you say everything that’s on your mind and receive the kind of help you’re asking them for. Write it all down if it helps and bring your notes to the conversation. There’s no shame in any type of preparation when it comes to this!
Now, this also includes deciding who you’re talking to beforehand. Here’s a big tip: it doesn’t have to be both parents at once. If your parents are a part of the reason you’re feeling down or anxious, you may want to talk to the parent you’re more comfortable with first. In some situations, maybe that means you talk with an aunt or a grandparent first to get help mediating the conversation with your parents. Whatever you feel works for you!
Remember, You’re Asking For Support
You’re extremely lucky if your parents understand exactly how you’re feeling. In many cases, be prepared for a lot of questions and the first few being around if its something they did to make you feel this way. This is a good sign. They care and want to know how they can change to make this situation right. Whether it has nothing to do with them (or everything to do with them), in this first conversation remember that you are just asking for their love and support. You’re asking for help that you can’t always get on your own.
They don’t have to completely understand right now because, let’s be honest, you might not understand exactly how you’re feeling either! What’s important is that they are there for you every step of the way.
Hold Your Parents Accountable
Give them a deadline for making things happen. It will probably give them an even bigger push if they need it. If you asked that they make an appointment for you on Monday night, give them until Friday night to do so. Check-in with them and remind them that your feelings won’t just go away. You are trying to better yourself and you need their help.
Use The Available Resources
The glory of today is that you have tons of options. There are therapy text apps like Talkspace or video therapy like BetterHelp. But let’s be honest, most of these cost money that our allowance or part-time jobs don’t cover. Resources for free mental health and wellness therapy have boomed in 2020 since we’re all stuck at home. Places like The Feel Better Club is a great example.
If it’s still offered, your school counselor can always be an option. They’re professionals too! They can even help guide the conversation between you and your parents (over a video call, of course).
If you’re going through something extremely tough and are looking for immediate help, these free resources are here for you:
NAMI Helpline - 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 1-800-273-8255 or they’re lifeline chat
Crisis Text Line - A texting-basis crisis resource that pairs you with a live, trained crisis counselor to text with. Use it by texting HOME to 741-741.
Find Your Version of Wellness
Therapy can be an amazing help, but finding a creative outlet significantly improves your mental health as well. There’s meditation, yoga, planting a garden, water coloring, roller skating, journaling, the list goes on! Find one thing outside of therapy that truly brings you joy and helps you feel centered on a hard day. This hobby will allow you to check-in with yourself and show yourself love in different ways.
Another tip? Take a break from social media if you need to (no need for FOMO, we’re all at home).
Give Yourself Credit
This is a big step. Asking your parents for help isn’t easy but you’re doing it! Give yourself credit for putting your mental health first. Allow yourself to feel your feelings without being ashamed, embarrassed, or confused. Remember, therapy is normal, your feelings are valid, and you will get through this. You are brave for wanting to better yourself and your mental health.
